........................ mira burt-wintonick

i realize that more than one post in one day is unheard of. but i found this thing that i thought was funny and couldn’t wait to tell the internet about it. it’s called TV-B-Gone and i am pretty sure it’s for real. You can turn off any TV, at anytime, anywhere.

According to the Irish press, Dolly Parton has been caught up in a “lip synching scandal”. I know, right? It is like the world is falling to pieces and there is nothing you or I can do to stop it.

I’m going to put ‘Jolene’ on repeat for the next few days and try not to leave the house in case an anvil should fall on my head. And why shouldn’t it? Everything else bad has happened.

Y’all are hatin’. Admit it. You don’t love anything anymore. Your Mom told you you weren’t allowed to paint your room black and you’ve been fuming for months. Well guess what? You are lying to yourself and it’s making everyone depressed. Stop it. The following is a guide to things you can’t possibly hate.

1. Old couples. Old couples holding hands, old couples laughing, old couples helping eachother remember things…

2.And on the other end of the chronological spectrum, little kids are pretty effing cool too. Today Mira and I were looking at the Ogilvy’s Christmas display downtown, and this little kid came up beside me and was all “Hey, look at the Christmas guys Mom!” But he was just looking at these frogs that didn’t look like Christmas frogs at all. Then his mom was like “Yup, that’s what we came to see.” and he was like “Oooooh,” like he was coming to some brilliant conclusion. Which I think he was.

3. Last week some chocolate bar company was handing out free chocolate bars. If you say you hate free chocolate, that’s like saying you hate freedom. And you’re a dirty liar.

4. When it’s raining and you don’t have an umbrella on you, and your friend shares their umbrella with you, it means you guys are BFF. Or at least FF. Both of your arms and half of each of your faces still get wet, but that’s okay because you’re probably laughing about how you both totally have soakers anyway.

5. The Vinyl Cafe on CBC radio is pretty good. It took me a while to warm up to the idea of listening to stories on the radio but guess what? There are books too, and the stories are so nice you could read them every day.

6. People falling down. Not old people, and not people that get really hurt, but if someone fell down in front of the saddest guy in the world he would probably crack a smile. Once I fell getting on the shuttle bus and no one laughed except for me and I wondered ‘what is wrong with these people?!” Then I realized they were probably saving it for later when they could let their friends in on the joke, and that’s fine.

7. This.

Ummm yeah there are lots of good things and quit it with all the hate already. What are you in like grade 10?

you may attend a party where strange customs prevail
vous pourriez assister a une réception aux étranges coutumes.

For real.

Shaheen, a restaurant by Beaubien metro, attracted the likes of Mira and Allie by boasting “unpretentious Indian and Pakistani fare. And a Kleenex box on every table.”

When we first arrived, they seemed pissed that our friends didn’t show up for 45 minutes because they had to close at 9:30pm. So they kept glaring at me in the mirror, gave us a faulty corkscrew for the wine, and turned off the heat to try and freeze us out. But we stuck it out, more determined than ever to get our $6.50 worth of soup, rice, curry, and dessert.

After Jer endured a striking blow at his ability to handle spice, the conversation quickly turned to politics, and Joffe, assured as ever of his convictions, spurred the conversation forward until it became a fiesty debate.

We were certain we were about to be kicked out when the owner, a big, middle-aged Pakistani immigrant, approached the table.

“Let me just ask you one question,” he said, “Are you for or against American presence in Iraq and Afghanistan?”

Cut to thirty minutes later, well past the 9:30pm closing time, the debate raging on as Joffe told us everything he was against, while falling strangely silent when attempting to tell us exactly what it was he was for.

The point is:

The food was good and plentiful.
The debate (and I quote) was “nourishing also.”

Go for the food. Stay for the old dude in the apron talking to you.

**** out of *****
$ out of $$$$$
Issue 1. Volume 1. Digitaldownpour Restaurant Critiques.

Is Santa Claus always this early?
There’s only 40 shopping days till Christmas afterall.
What ever shall we do.

but this is most definitely the last thing you would expect.

So aparently Marshall McLuhan’s claim-to-fame catchphrase “the medium is the message” was a typo, just a small communications glitch that drastically altered the meaning of his own important message. Because in fact, what Mr. Media was trying to tell us all along was that the medium is the massage.

Much more profound, don’t you think?

Way ahead of his time.

We are sad to say that one of our fellow blogs has apparently developed a strong case of delusional schizophrenia. A delusion is commonly defined as a false belief and is used in everyday language to describe a belief that is either false, fanciful or derived from deception. This is unfortunately evident in said blog’s continued insistence that their blog is better than Digital Downpour, which is obviously a very fanciful notion indeed.

We would like to take this opportunity, however, to remind people that delusions of this scale typically occur in the context of neurological or mental illness. So while it may be tempting to cede to one’s first reaction to such grandiose delusion by calling the deluded party mean names like “Crazy nut” or “Unfit-to-blog psycho”, it is important to remember that it is not their fault but rather the result of a chemical imbalance inside their brain.

And with that, we wish the blog suffering from this illness peace of mind and hope that they will soon find a medication that best suits their needs.