taken by former blogger allie
I am quitting the blog.
It has been a long time coming.
I don’t think there is anything else for me to say here.
And I hate comments.
From now on you can talk to me in real life (we don’t do that anymore).
I don’t mean to discount the validity of blogging-as-expression.
But this blog in particular is caught up in a scene that gives me stage fright and hasn’t been fun in a long time.
I’m not in a bad mood, and I don’t want to paint my room black (if I did, my mom would probably let me).
I’m just moving on.
Last night I was brushing my teeth, and
I was looking at myself in the mirror and thought:
“You know what? if I was cooler I would probably walk around with my collar flipped up. But I don’t think I could pull that off.”
Then there was some ambient noise of water and toothbrush.
“I wonder how I would describe my sense of style if Reluctant Hero magazine (now defunct) were to ask me. I think I would probably say that I didn’t want to be so pretentious as to… wait, pretentious isn’t the right word. I need the verb. Pretent? Is that a word? No… Pretend? Is pretend the verb form of pretentious?”
Then I smiled some because that was possibly the best stream of thought ever.
Day One: 39.3ÂºC
Day Two: 39.4ÂºC
Day Three: 39.7ÂºC
Day Four: 36.3ÂºC
Day Five: 37.0ÂºC
Day Six: 37.3ÂºC
So why do I still feel like I’ll never get better?
Every Tuesday I see a middle aged couple waiting in line for the shuttle bus. They hold hands and smile at each other until the bus comes, then they walk to the door where the woman gets on and part reluctantly. She always turns around to wave goodbye from the top step and he always waits until the bus has pulled away from the curb before walking into the hall building, just to be sure that she’s safe on her way.
I used to think this was sweet, but now I’ve decided that love is an illusion which only lasts so long as both people are comfortable believing in a lie.